Summerwind Arabian Horses in Tennessee -"Dear Dolly" Chapter Three

To order your copy of Dear Dolly....

or send $19.95 + $3.00 S&H to:
Dear Dolly
6005 NE Liberty Lane
Lebanon, TN 37087

Are you up there? I really need your advice. Today Lilli came to live at the barn where I am boarding her. I was so excited to get her back after sixty days of training and trail riding at Shelby’s. Sure, the time with Shelby gave me a chance to learn things I didn’t know about horsekeeping and riding, but I was very anxious to have Lilli home where I could see her everyday instead of only on weekends.

I called the manager at the barn to let her know that I would be out shortly after work to visit Lilli. Somehow, I must have miscommunicated my wishes, because when I arrived, Lilli was not in her stall. No one was around the barn, so I set out to search for my pride and joy, only to find her grazing contentedly in the pasture with two other horses. “No problem,” I thought to myself. I retrieved Lilli’s halter and lead rope and entered the pasture, closing the gate behind me. Now, I had seen Shelby bring Lilli in from the pasture at her barn lots of times and it seemed very easy. If I remember correctly, all I needed to do to catch you was call your name and you obliged without the need for restraint. Somehow I expected it to be the same way with Lilli. I was wrong!

I slowly walked toward Lilli with the halter in my hand and everything was fine until I got about three feet away. I could see her looking at me out of the corner of her eye. Suddenly she ran away, stopping about twenty feet from me. Again I tried, with the same result. After about thirty minutes of chasing Lilli (and her friends) all over the pasture, I gave up. Now, from reading about horses I know that Lilli won the battle, but I also knew I didn’t have a chance of catching her. I left the barn totally dejected, and as I drove away I could swear I saw Lilli giving me a victory smile.

Dolly, I was so disappointed because this was the first time I had a chance to have Lilli all to myself and I blew it. I called the barn manager and asked her to make sure that Lilli was kept in her stall the next day so that she wouldn’t be able to pull the same stunt again. I planned to zero in on the problem of catching Lilli in the pasture later, but right now I was very anxious to get started with Lilli, without Shelby present. It was my turn to show what I could do.

The next day I went straight to the barn after work and this time Lilli was in her stall as I had requested. When she saw me, Lilli walked to the back of the stall and turned away from me. I was crushed! Here I was, ready to give my body and soul, not to mention my wallet, to this horse, and she was playing me like a chump. I offered her a carrot and placed her halter around her head. Now I had a new best friend; Lilli began nuzzling and flashing those baby browns at me. I figured this would be the right time to groom her. I found out that she is a vain creature, and rightfully so – her bay coat gleams and her mane falls below her shoulders. As I groomed Lilli, I talked to her about my day, and she nuzzled me gently. “This is the life,” I thought.

Then I placed the saddle pad on Lilli’s back. She did exactly the same thing she did at Shelby’s barn; she threw off the pad each time I turned my back on her. After five or six attempts, Lilli grew bored and settled down. I placed the saddle on her back and you would have thought I had loaded a tractor on her. She threw her head, looked around and gave a loud snort. She tossed and turned and stomped. I was frazzled by this time, but little by little, I managed to get the cinch tightened without bodily harm to the horse or myself. Then, unlike the time Shelby had bailed me out, it was time to place the bit in Lilli’s mouth.

I know I was spoiled when I was young, because I didn’t have to learn any of this with you. Now I really wished that I had learned this basic skill back then. Although I was a novice at bitting, I had seen it done and had practiced it in my sleep. “Piece of cake,” I thought. Not! All my life I have heard that horses instinctively know when a human is nervous and that proved so true. Lilli put her head down on command, but the minute I placed the bridle near her head, she raised it to just above my reach. “Just calm down,” I said to myself, “You know how to do this.” Again and again I tried, with the same result. Lilli was toying with me and I grew more frustrated by the minute. Here I had made the decision to make Lilli my new life’s partner and she was taking full advantage of my kindness. I was devastated.

Finally, I decided that the only way to get Lilli bridled was to put a halter on her and place the bridle over it. This was a temporary fix, I realized, but I had to show Lilli that she could not get away with this behavior. I remember hearing my Dad say that it is very important that the human wins battles – if a horse gets one over on you, it is likely to happen every time. So we eventually made it to the round pen and I lunged Lilli just as I had been taught. I rode her without incident, but the bridling catastrophe left me rattled. I’ve come home to read some more before going to bed; tonight I will practice bitting in my sleep. It sure is easy to do that way.

I do know one thing: life was a lot simpler when I was five and you were fifteen. If you come up with any bright ideas, send them my way, please. In the meantime, I’m going to soak in a nice, hot tub and pretend I’m riding Lilli across the meadow. She’ll have a bit in her mouth in my dream.

Horses have a natural instinct to keep away from danger, which is why you have to earn their trust. Humans are a potential threat until a horse approves of them. If you want to catch a horse in the pasture, you have to prove that you are not a threat, but rather an ally. I know how discouraged I was when I tried to catch Lilli and couldn’t get her to trust me. The following steps will be helpful when you attempt to catch an elusive horse:

· Approach the horse slowly from his left side, holding the halter behind your back. Talk to the horse to warn him of your approach so that he is not frightened if he doesn’t see you until you are close to him.

· A horse has a comfort zone of about ten feet that humans commonly refer to as our “space.” When you reach that distance, stop and let the horse acknowledge you. He will probably do this by raising his head. Usually, he will want to see if you have brought anything to eat, so perhaps have a treat with you. Give the horse the treat, and if he moves away, reposition yourself and wait.

· Without making any sudden moves, bring the halter slowly into view and lay the lead rope over his neck. Usually, this will be enough to make the horse feel restrained and he will not try to move away from you.

· Put the halter on and fasten it slowly so as not to startle the horse, then take a minute to pet him and praise him. Walk forward slowly, but remember not to wrap the lead rope around your hand (ever!). The horse may still try to run away and will pull you with him.

· Remember to be patient. If you are in a hurry and show it, you may not be as successful as you would like.

Do you have fond memories of the times you pulled a wagon full of vacation bible school kids to church? I certainly do. We even loaded our dog, Scout, onto the back of the wagon. You proceeded with the precious cargo and willingly tolerated the tugs and pulls you got as they stepped down and gave you thank-you hugs. We tied your lead rope to the tree beside the church and you waited patiently until we were ready for the trip back home.

I had hoped for this same kind of camaraderie with Lilli. No matter which of us was in charge, you and I were in complete sync. I excitedly started this day with a new outlook and was eager to continue working with Lilli.

On this occasion, I groomed Lilli for an extra long time before placing the saddle pad on her back. Much to my surprise, she accepted it without objection. The saddle also went on smoothly. My hands were sweating as I picked up Lilli’s bridle. She knew it! She had saved all the game-playing for the bit! I had the same problem as before, but this time Lilli threw her head. I had to do something, so I went to the tack room and got a mounting block and tried to put the bit in her mouth from a more elevated position. But the taller I got, the taller Lilli got. I’d be willing to bet you were up there laughing!

An experienced horsewoman who boards her horse in the stall next to me came to my aid. “Let me show you how this works. It won’t take a minute,” she said. “Lilli knows you’re having trouble and she’s using it to her advantage.” Then the woman proceeded to demonstrate exactly how to expertly put a bit in a horses’ mouth. It was not to be! For thirty minutes she tried with the same result that I, a mere novice, had achieved. She finally gave up and said, “This horse is hopeless. You need to sell her and get another horse.”

Frustrated, I got into my car and called Shelby. I told her that I would gladly give Lilli to her and keep the foal when it was born. She could hear the desperation in my voice and asked me to relay the events as they had happened. Shelby said that as much as she appreciated my generous offer of giving her this fabulous, expensive horse, she wanted to try another approach first. She asked me to come to her barn as soon as I could. I told her to expect me shortly.

When I arrived, Shelby told me that the problem I was having was not a physical one, but rather a psychological one. To prove her point, she had me bridle every horse in the place, including her mule. Dolly, I was so excited! I realized then that Lilli was the problem, not me. She was very smart and realized how nervous I was. She had decided to test me – and she had won. But I had learned a valuable lesson along the way. I was perfectly capable of bridling a horse and I had a bone to pick with Lilli. I headed straight back to the barn, arriving shortly after dusk.

I found Lilli resting leisurely in her stall, waiting for the carrot she assumed I had brought for her. I didn’t have one – but I did have a bridle and bit. I walked into her stall as though I was ten feet tall, told Lilli to put her head down and immediately slipped the bit in her mouth without so much as a lead rope for restraint. Lilli looked as though she had seen a ghost. I’m sure she asked herself, “Who is this woman?” Let me tell you, Dolly. I have had many successes in business, but nothing compared to the feeling I got when that bridle went on without a hitch. I vowed to never have this problem again. What a relief!

Dolly, it just goes to show you that what I read is true: a horse can sense even the slightest apprehension in humans. Lilli is proving to be a real challenge. My life with you did not prepare me for this! Even though I had a weak moment today when I wanted to give Lilli away, I am not a quitter.

Tomorrow will be a better day. Dolly, I felt your presence when I walked back into that stall. I know you are looking out for me, but you can’t be with me all the time. After all, what is the use of having perpetual green grass up there if you can’t enjoy it!

I read “how to” books countless times before I tried to bridle Lilli. Although I knew the method, I was nervous and it showed. The following technique will tell you how to successfully bridle a horse. But before you do, breathe.

· Slip the horse’s halter off his muzzle and slide it back around his neck. Standing to the left of the horse, put your right arm under the horse’s jaw and hold the cheek pieces of the bridle together in front of his face. Rest the bit on your left hand, just under the muzzle.

· Move the bridle gently up the horse’s face. When the bit touches the horse’s mouth, insert your thumb gently between the lips at the corner so that it presses slightly on the gum in the gap between the horse’s teeth. The horse will open his mouth instinctively.

· Bring the headpiece up over the horse’s ears, taking care not to let the bit drop out of the horse’s mouth. Carefully fit both ears between the browband and the headpiece, and check that all of the horse’s forelock is lying free over the browband.

· Fasten the throatlatch first, so that if the horse pulls away from you he will not pull the bridle off. Fasten it loosely so as not to interfere with the horse’s breathing.

· Fasten a halter loosely around the horse’s neck. Undo the throatlatch. Taking hold of the headpiece in one hand, pull the bridle gently over the ears, and lower the bridle slowly down the front of the horse’s face. The horse will ease the bit out of his mouth by himself.

· Do not pull the bridle off too quickly and bang the bit against the horse’s teeth. This may cause the horse to be resistant to accepting the bit in the future.

Well, you’d never guess what happened today! You were definitely on my mind as I headed for the barn to visit Lilli on July 4^th. The holiday denotes freedom and that is exactly what you were to me. You gave me the freedom to ride across the meadow with the wind in my face and the freedom to forget that I was just a little girl who lived in a boy’s world. (You know, where boys could do anything and girls could cook and clean.) But that’s another story; I still feel anger about how I was raised to believe that girls could do very little except look pretty.

This particular July 4^th I was eager to celebrate my freedom with Lilli. I set my sights on having a lovely day working on my riding skills. I knew there would be very little activity around the barn early in the morning. Asheville always has a parade and many downtown restaurants celebrate by joining street vendors for a “taste of the town.” I wasn’t surprised that I was the only horse mother visiting the barn.

I saddled and bridled Lilli without any mishaps (doesn’t that sound good?) and walked her to the round pen. The ground work started out fine; I put Lilli into a trot, canter and then back to a walk. I was practicing turning Lilli at certain points of the round pen when she suddenly picked up the pace; I asked her to walk and instead she began to gallop around the round pen. It was the first time I had seen Lilli out of control during groundwork. Then I noticed that the saddle had slipped and was hanging sideways on her. No wonder she was panicked!

Well, Dolly, the only thing to do at that moment was to get out of there. So I went to the fence and sat on the highest rail, all the while trying to calm Lilli. I was amazed to see that even though the saddle was now upside down, Lilli continued to run against the rail as a properly trained John Lyons student should. I kept saying, “Easy, Lilli, easy Lilli” until she began to take heed. Then as suddenly as she had bolted, she came to a halt.

The temperature was already near ninety degrees and very humid. Lilli was dripping wet and the veins had popped out on her body. She snorted and blew and let me know in no uncertain terms that I had messed up big-time today. Now that Lilli had calmed down, I walked back into the round pen and inspected the saddle, immediately noticing what had happened. Initially I had thought that maybe I hadn’t tightened the girth strap enough, but I remembered checking it just before we left the barn.

What Shelby had warned me about had come true. She had told me that I needed to see about replacing a worn girth strap on the saddle. However, I didn’t replace it soon enough and Lilli paid the price.

Luckily, Lilli wasn’t injured, but she kept her ears pinned at me the rest of the morning. I’m ashamed to admit that I felt relieved that I had to leave without riding Lilli. Where is that coming from, Dolly? On the way home I stopped at the saddle shop to have the strap replaced and the others checked for fraying. I just wish I had taken Shelby’s advice sooner.

Well, Dolly, as soon as everything seems to be coming together for this horse and me, some unforeseen obstacle pops up. Didn’t I take you for granted? If Lilli and I can be half the team that you and I were, I will be a happy woman. I so want to make a difference in this horse’s life and I want her to make a difference in mine.

Dolly, you were always a wise old soul. Help me find some way to be a better horsewoman, please. In the meantime, I’m going to watch a video about Black Beauty and maybe pick up some pointers myself.

· Basically, check anywhere that metal meets leather, because that is where the most stress occurs. Replace any equipment that shows even the smallest sign of fraying.

· Check reins and bridle for wear and cracking and make certain that any screws or buckles are securely tightened.

· Clean and condition your tack regularly. Don’t let the leather get dry and brittle. Tack should be cared for even if you don’t ride regularly.

· If possible, change the holes that you buckle on the girth, breastplate or bridle. This will distribute the stress more evenly and save wear and tear. But make certain that doing so does not result in too loose of a fit, jeopardizing the safety of the horse and rider.

Do you remember the little pep talk we had recently about trying to think of ways for me to become a better horsewoman? Well, just when I thought I might be turning it all around, I made a really stupid mistake.

I actually thought we were on the right track, Dolly. Lilli and I had a great ride today. Her groundwork was excellent as always and I rode her first in the round pen and then in the arena. I asked Lilli to canter up the hill leading from the round pen and I felt in control again. It felt good to have a session go smoothly.

When I got back to the barn, I decided not to give Lilli her usual bath. The weather had turned cool and windy, so I just let her stand inside the barn tacked up during the cool down. Some people were visiting the barn to inquire about boarding their horses there. I told them how great the atmosphere was and they commented about what a beautiful horse I had. I beamed with pride! “It doesn’t get any better than this,” I thought to myself.

Thank goodness the visitors had already left with the stable manager, because they would have seen quite a spectacle! I don’t know what possessed me, but instead of taking Lilli’s saddle off first, I removed the bridle. What was I thinking?

Dolly, what would you have done if you had the choice between standing in the wash stall of a barn or heading for green grass? You’d do exactly what Lilli did. She left me standing with the bridle in my hand and went off to calmly graze without me. “No problem,” I thought. “I’ll just let her graze for a while and then I’ll bring her in.” I thought we had developed a close relationship by now and she would be easy to catch.

Lilli had other ideas when her grazing time was up. She repeated the whole routine that she pulled on me much earlier in our relationship. Each time I would get close to her, she would meander over a few yards in the other direction. There was real concern on my part, because Kathryn had not fenced the property yet. It is very close to a main road, and I worried that Lilli might run into traffic. On a hunch, I inched toward the paddock where Lilli’s friend, Spring, was grazing. As I approached the gate, Spring called out and Lilli’s ears perked up. She trotted over to the paddock and asked to be let in. I very gladly obliged, because the last thing I wanted was to chase her up to the main road. I know it wasn’t the correct way to solve the problem, but it worked for me.

So, Dolly, the moral of this story is: everything in its right order. Always remove the saddle before you remove the bridle. You can bet that won’t happen again. See, that comes from growing up with an older horse that knows the ropes. Not once did you ever run away, Dolly. I guess you were pretty satisfied with the life you had, huh?

It appears that this horsekeeping stuff is harder than they indicate in those books. Every day I learn something new, and at my age that is quite an achievement. Tomorrow I’m sure Lilli will teach me something else, but tonight I’m going to feel sorry for myself.

Has a horse ever stepped on your foot? Probably not, but Lilli stepped on mine today. The worst part was that she looked off into the horizon and I could almost hear her humming softly. I said, “Excuse me, Lilli, but I think that’s my foot you’re on.” She didn’t budge. I tried pulling her off balance with the lead rope, but that didn’t work. Finally, I realized that if I pushed her hindquarters, she would move away from me. Thank goodness my brain kicked in. Boy, my foot smarts!

Today I rode Lilli down by the creek. The lady who owns Spring rode her beside me and we had a great time. Lilli is happiest when she is on the trail, and I wish there were more around the barn. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of selling my house and buying one with facilities to keep Lilli. Thinking back to my childhood again, Dolly, there is nothing quite like waking up in the morning (or middle of the night for that matter) and walking out to the barn to be greeted by your very own horse.

Dolly, I know you were alone a lot of the time. You didn’t have your own baby to raise. The reason I’m bringing this up is that I have thought a lot about Lilli being alone, and although I originally wanted to sell her foal, I’m giving serious thought to keeping it for Lilli to raise. What do you think of that? Would that make a difference?

Kathryn told me that Lilli is an excellent mother and dotes on her babies, so it makes sense to me that if that would make Lilli happy, then she will hopefully cooperate a little more with me. Sometimes she can be so good, but just when I think we’re making progress, she starts to act up. I hope the longer she knows me, the more she will trust me.

As far as the foal is concerned, the seller has told me that she would be glad to take over the attendant duties when Lilli delivers. She has an apartment over the barn where she sleeps during foaling season, which allows her to keep a close eye on the pregnant mares. Naturally, I would want to be there for the birth, but she cautioned me that once labor starts, the birth is so fast that I probably couldn’t get to the barn in time to witness it. That depresses me, because I wasn’t allowed to see births on the farm growing up. I really want to be there when this foal is born.

Dolly, I know you’ve heard me talk about my ex-husband who lives in another city. Yesterday, I talked with Ron on the phone and he wants to meet Lilli. He is a man who has only ridden a horse once in his life and he admits to being terrified of them. But, just as he was in our marriage, if it makes me happy to own a horse even though he thinks I’m stark raving mad, he’s all for it. Ron is planning to come to town next week for Bele Chere, a street festival that we attend together every year, and I’m taking him to the barn for an introduction to Lilli. Maybe I can even persuade him to ride her. Wish me luck!

The phone is ringing, so I must go for now. Sleep well up there in the meadow and continue to look in my direction when you wake.

I had a lot to learn about taking care of Lilli during her pregnancy. I read everything I could to help me prepare, but I found that a visit from the veterinarian is the best place to start. This list contains tips from the vet who attended Lilli:

· Normal gestation for mares can be anywhere from 330 to 350 days, with the average being 332. It is very important to make certain that your mare receives adequate prenatal care from the outset. Begin with a complete examination by your veterinarian.

· The mare should receive proper nutrition. For the first eight months, feed her normal rations, but during the last ninety days, gradually double her grain intake (but no more than 14% protein). Also, add increased amounts of clean, well-cured green alfalfa hay. Hay must be completely free of mold for the duration of the pregnancy and for the last 90 days, the mare must not consume any fescue grass or hay. Fescue has been proven to cause abortion or septicemia in foals.

· Adequate turnout in the fresh air and sunshine is vital for a healthy pregnancy. If at all possible, pregnant mares should be turned out together. Injuries can occur when they are placed with high-spirited horses.